Emotions are what give us “skin in the game,” that apply value and meaning to the lessons we learn in living our human lives, whether of love or of loss.
Many in our western culture believe that expressing one’s feelings is not necessarily an admirable quality. We are taught to “stuff it,” and not to bother others with emotional reactions that arise during the challenges of life. Often born from good intentions, many share this quality of emotional restraint, but it doesn’t necessarily serve us well.
Our emotions are essential to reaching a deeper understanding of our inner spiritual nature, beyond the five physical senses. Every interaction in life is an opportunity to grow spiritually, and those that capture our attention often involve strong emotional reactions.
Attempting to change external circumstances to solve our problems can often be frustrating. It is useful to look inside yourself to discover the true source of emotional pain. Developing a deeper understanding of our inner spiritual nature helps to empower us from within.
In a universe that is alive and wise and compassionate, emotions can be viewed as messages from the soul that bring priceless information. By moving past being unconsciously controlled by fearful emotions to consciously choosing to act on loved-based emotions, you are able to change your life, your future, and your world.
PRACTICE
Pay attention to what events trigger your emotions throughout the day. These are clues to issues that are better addressed from within yourself rather than blaming external circumstances for your emotional reactions.
RESOURCES
Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav
As someone with bipolar disorder, I need to manage all of my emotions. Tina Turner wrote something very profound on her “Beyond” album. She speaks this poem, “Beyond.” — “Nothing lasts forever. No one lives forever. A flower that fades and dies, winter passes and spring comes. Embrace the cycle of life, it is the greatest love.” Further along in the poem she recites, “Take the journey. Take the journey inside of you. To become quiet to hear the Beyond. To become patient to receive the Beyond. To become open to allow the Beyond and be grateful, be grateful to allow the Beyond. Be in the present moment to live in the Beyond.” I found this whole album really very comforting as I was moving through some intense physical and emotional pain and experiencing the loss of a number of loved ones. It’s an album of Christian and Eastern based spiritual music. I still use it from time to time to help me realize that there is something much bigger than myself that is guiding me along the way. I hope people find this helpful, especially those who have recently experienced the loss of a loved one. Give time, time. Blessings to you all.
I have found a certain trigger as a clue.
But how can I address to this within ?
So far I’ve been working on over thirty years, yet I am not successfully to change it, especially one typical issue which is bureaucratic behavior, which definitely I have inside. Help !!!
Hi everyone.
I’m very emotional at this time since my husband passed on a month and a half ago. I have a whole host of emotions. It was a deep love and I miss him terribly.
Sometimes, I loose sight of what I’ve learned from Eben, that Vinny is present and can hear me talking to him. That our souls will be reunited.
He would always bring flowers, write love notes , tell me how beautiful I was and let me know throughout the day, how much he loves me. We did everything together. Deeply in love!
So, sometimes,I think back and feel emotional for what is no longer. I terribly miss the physical form of Vinny by my side. I’ll cry or discuss it with people who are safe in my circle.
Know I need to cultivate a balance
But, for the moment, I accept the emotions that come my way, as long as I don’t hurt anyone in the process. Vincent Rinaldo was my life💜
Anne, I believe you’re getting more compassionate person, and your loved one supporting this. Let me share you one music, my intention is not make you sad, but through grief, I’m sure you find jews within your being. Eric https://youtu.be/u0H8fhXvOI4
Anne, I lost my wife of 50 years, 1 month ago. I am with you in your pain. I know Barbara is with me; I talk to her and I hear her say “I don’t want you to be unhappy”. I don’t to be unhappy but I miss her so. I can’t look at her pictures, fold her clothes, empty her wallet….it all hurts so much. They say it gets better…I’m not sure. I find some comfort in praying. I especially like these words (I believe the author is Richard Rohr). “LIfe is not about us; we are about the project of finding life. At that moment, spiritual vision illuminates all the rest of life. And it is that light that shines in darkness. Only the experience of our own darkness gives us the light we need to be of help to others…It’s then that our own taste of darkness Qualifies us to be an illuminating part of the human expedition.Without that we are only words, only false witnesses to the truth of what it means to be pressed to the ground and rise again.”
This is such a moving message, Ken, and I feel every word you’ve written with a total sense of recognition, because I lost my own beloved husband last year (2022). Every breath I take is a struggle, despite meditating and reading and listening to all the wisdom I can find.
I have come to one conclusion: the very fact that we all must lose our terrestrial lives, and thereby cause grief to others, MUST mean there is more to life than this brief span we know on earth, because the mind-bending amount of personal anguish and sorrow that is occurring at EVERY MOMENT on this plane must, it really MUST lead to something greater, finer. So now, after I spent many years as a sceptical empiricist, it has taken this anguish to make me realise that the only thing to do if I am to remain sane is believeas did Kierkegaard; believe as a leap of faith if I have to, and use it as my anchor while the storm of life lasts.
And how lucky I feel to have found Dr Alexander’s writings, because his story rings true to me. He gives me hope that I SHALL meet my beloved husband again, and regardless of where this occurs, that place will become Elysium for us both.
In the meantime I can’t repress my sorrow, and I won’t try. I let the tears flow whenever they have to. My grief is the least I can offer for the many years of devoted partnership, laughter and joy I had with my Beloved. :’-(
I hope you have found at least some serenity. My heart is with you.
I had a soul mate too but he passed three years ago. We had talked about it and tried to prepare for me being left behind. The first year was the worst when everything revolved around my husband and i deferred to him for everything. I have since learned to cope and if i need help to ring an appropriate person to fix the problem . Of course this costs now instead of having a Mr Fixit on hand. i find that planning a holiday with my daughter or attending workshops helps to give something to look forward to. I also got a little dog who is my constant companion and gives me something to care for. It will pass, time to find out who you really are so cherish this time.Love Joan
Dear Anne, I know that you wrote about your loss in 2019, so I don’t know whether you still read any of the comments/replies on this site. I hope you do, because I
want you to know that what you wrote moved me to tears of recognition and made me feel a surge of caring love for you. I lost my own beloved husband of 42 years in June of 2022 after a brief, violent illness linked to Parkinson’s Disease. We had no warning that the condition, which had been very gradual and seemed under control, would suddenly surge and cause him to collapse and die so suddenly. My heart is torn into shreds because like you I doted on him, he was the light and centre of my life, and I had always believed that our love was so strong we would depart this life together.
I long to know whether you have found a measure of serenity now, after two years, and that you are again able to relish life. For myself, despite various events that lead me to believe my dearest David is indeed with me, and although I meditate and struggle to achieve acceptance and serenity, I still cry myself to sleep and feel as though somebody had hollowed me out. I am learning to pretend that I am ‘recovering’ but I can’t really imagine how it will happen, because I MISS him.
I’m hanging on to Dr Alexander’s account of his NDE and the assurances if offers like a shipwrecked sailor clinging to a bit of timber in a storm: hoping, praying, weeping. And everything I do alone that we used to do together, right down to making a cup of tea, triggers me, over and over again. Does it ever really get better? :’-(
Since our make-up as souls includes an astral or emotional level, I just can’t imagine trying to pass through life w/o expressing or feeling emotions! I was awed by one killer’s plaintive remark that he killed in an effort to feel something, anything. How true is Maya Angelou’s insight: I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Lama Surya Das says to invite your emotions to tea. Embrace them. Treat them kindly and ask them what they want, what you can do for them. Do they have a message? Be respectful with your emotions, your feelings, your body when it hurts. Instead of pushing away a negative thought or feeling, treat it like a person you care for. It’s not there for nothing!
Good morning everyone! I read Bozena’s drama and Beth’s logical suggestion. I wish to add that we are all electromagnetic bodies emitting electromagnetic charged thoughts and feelings. And the level of electromagnetism in our lives (thoughts and emotions) will attract beings of the same level. So the idea is to increase your electromagnetic level, and the unconditional Love to all (friends and enemies) will certainly raise this electromagnetic level. Study the letters of Christ (especially letters 8 and 9 and supplementary text 17: http://www.elementalgracealliance.com/Christ's%20Letters_Articles_Messages%202007%202014%20Latest%20Edition%20August%202017.pdf)
and the levels of Hawkins’ consciousness (https://www.thehealersjournal.com/2013/07/26/hawkins-scale-consciousness-how-to-raise-your-number/). []s
what a drab world this would be if it weren’t for our emotions! Let’s choose the good, positive ones.
We don’t have to do anything about the good, positive ones! But the bad, negative ones require at the least, our acknowledgement that they are present, they exist; and second our asking them without judgement what wisdom or message they have for us. It greatly adds to one’s freedom and joy to not fear or judge or deny, or push away negative emotions, but rather to embrace them and let them have their say. Then it is miraculous how they transform into angelic helpers.
Thank you so much for these, enjoying them everyday and looking forward to them in my transition it makes live so much easier. So greatful, thank you a million time 🙂
What I like about Live no in a Mindful Universe is it’s deep roots in science and the limitations of materialism. I find Seat of the Soul to not be that. Zukav offers his view of how life works that seems to have arrived full blown from…where?
I love this 33 day journey. I’m loving all the “resource” sources too.
I love love 😍 the LOVE.
My emotions have been going wild lately, I don’t really know why, but I hadn’t cried for almost 4 years, since my husband passed. Now, all of the sudden I cry at the drop of a hat. When one of my children talk sternly about something I have or have not done. I just leave the room and don’t bother to defend myself or even take it in stride. My concern, is why, am I becoming childish in my old age. Can anyone answer? Does anyone else have anything like that going on? Karen or Eben, can you offer an opinion? I ‘m not certain what to do about it, I hope I’m not losing my mind and my courage too.
Blessings to all and thank you for letting me vent. Thank you Karen and Eben for this fascinating Journey we are on.
Love and light.
Hello Sandie – I’m sure you’re not losing your mind, just finding yourself and being true to what you feel. Wishing you courage to stay with it and treat yourself with love & compassion. Much love to you xxx
Very wise words. My mantra for meditation and for living is … “to judge less and observe more”. The emotions get pulled in at times when I sense I may be allowing judgement to creep in. When I am truly just observing I feel a sense of neutrality… and the emotions do not tug at me in the same way. I have wondered whether we will experience emotions in the same way once we cross over into another dimension and are both enlightened w wisdom and love, as well as blending w the whole?🤔
Being present in the moment is really important with emotions – a lot of the time people are fixated by the past (regrets, guilt) or by the future (fear of what may or may not happen) and allow these powerful emotions to detract them from their present / the now. By focusing on a positive experience in ‘the now’ really helps, and over time enables you to live with your past, which cannot be changed. The future potential of what you may achieve or experience is determined by your attitude in the now. Taking a breath or a short meditation or mindfulness session can bring you into the present, so really enjoy your life
I really need this information and to practice it daily in my life. In one day, so many events come up that trigger my emotions… a tailgater driving way to close to me, etc… it’s a challenge to look inside of me and see that I have all these issues and that my reactions are revealing something that’s not right with me.
I feel I have some issues that I carried with me for many lifetimes and these useful tools will help me to Let Go and Let God with them…. to finally move past them.
I need to recognize these daily events as they come up as opportunities to grow spiritually and practice this when I’m triggered. The choices I make out of fear always have the same negative effects. These lessons will help me to consciously choose to act with love based emotions.
It’s heartening to know that inside within is an all loving consciousness that guides and heals. Thank you…
Feeling emotional at 5:30 am and continuing with the emotion and it’s 6:30am. I look at your email and of course, you are discussing emotions and their triggers. Why is it when things seem to be going well, seemingly out of the blue comes a trigger. One that makes me want to yell and scream and cry. One that makes me feel angry, feeling taken advantage of, feeling under appreciated and misunderstood. Getting my hand slapped at work for what I find an utter annoyance. I AM a hard worker, efficient, conscientious. Yet have extreme difficulty with the politics, so to spea, the procedures that seem to make my 40 hours inefficient. What I hear YOU say is find the learning opportunity. find the love, find the lesson. But what if I am less than perfect (which we know I AM, not!!) Will they fire me? Do I care? Can I ride out the storm and love myself even though other’s may find I am less than perfect. Do I find a better opportunity?
It is most challenging to “find the lesson” in the heat of the moment. Sometimes expression of emotion is the priority and the lesson can come later with a more objective frame of mind. With continued practice of a neutral state, this becomes easier in the moment emotions arise, but it can take LOTS of practice. Avoid thinking that all of this needs to happen quickly. Later in the course, we will introduce the concept of intention and how to be more aligned with our higher purpose. When this takes place, the problems in our lives often seem to resolve.
Thanks Karen, that makes a lot of sense…
Dear Liz Kuhn,
Maybe this perspective will help you: since my Teacher says we need to develop our xinxing ( shinshing: heart or moral quality ) first & foremost, then he teaches his students to meditate for the tranquility it provides. If you cultivate a tranquil state of mind, then, when you are faced w/ an emotionally challenging situation, you are more likely to respond instead of react. He says tranquillity acts as a buffer to help you make a better, more compassionate response. So, don’t punish yourself if you jump in there w/ that angry or hateful person; just promise yourself you will strive to hang back & make a better choice next time. By all means, meditating daily will help w/ that. I hope that helps! It definitely works for me.
So true. Our emotional reactions arise and are triggered from past experiences and keep us from being present in the Now, where all possibilities exist. The outside world – people-places-events, only trigger an emotional response within us if there is something in our internal world that we vibrate with. I would like to share my friends website about becoming aware and letting go of emotional triggers. https://www.clearthepath.co.uk
I find the technique spiritually rewarding.
When babies are born they are crying, is it a emotion of pain or joy? I am fascinated by how our creator fashioned us.
Some purposes in crying is to expell fluid from the lungs and airway and take in air. I think also a purpose in crying is to balance the energy. Birth involves a great change in energetics. Another purpose in crying is to attract attention: “I’m here! Don’t let me fall. Take care of me, please. Feed me, keep me warm.” The first time I helped at a birth, I saw an inverted V come down over the baby’s head just as it crowned. This cone, or inverted V had a deep, deep hum to it. Now all of this happened very quickly, but every nanosecond of it was fully experienced by me. The inverted V cone descended over the baby’s head and it felt like the universe turned itself inside out and the baby took a breath. It was awesome. I peeked around me, but no one else seemed to have noticed so I kept it to myself. I was just 19.
Emotions- I believe we are in the start of the Emotional Age, one where emotions will not be hidden, stuffed down but to learn, to gain freedom from those negative emotions (shadows) that cause us to look hard and acknowledge the things, we don’t like about ourselves. Those are our lessons and our gifts. It frees us from what chains us to the world of fear. When I meditate, it aligns me and balances me, allows me to respond instead of react. I have learned if something comes up, I need to stop and look at it objectively as usually it means I have work that needs to be done on an issue. It is always about us (a mirror image) and never about the other person. It’s a great time when we allow.
Hi Karen!
Trying to open Day 15 site I received the following.
This site is not secure
This might mean that someone’s trying to fool you or steal any info you send to the server. You should close this site immediately.
Thank you for letting me know about this error. I expect it is related to the links in the emails that get changed by the mail server provider for tracking purposes. I will investigate why these errors may be appearing, but meanwhile, in case others may be having a similar issue, here is a direct link to one of my personal favorite days:
Day 15 – Heart: http://ebenalexander.com/day-15-heart
Guess, Emotion and sense is quite dfferent. Emotion from Latin- means throwing out. Sense or feeling is the intuition, the antenna. Often I was not sure is it an intuition or emotion, or a mixture of both. The neutrality practice is one of the helpful exercises, in developing an inner sovereignty. That does surely not mean that you are not capable of emotions. For instance I love dancing. Dancing by myself, moving even without music, just dancing to an inner voice opens the flow of emotions and opens seismographical what I need to face in order to overcome any blocking and empowering the feeling and the emotion of trust: I love my life and Life loves me.
Hello All, we have interesting questions and comments here. We need to acquire the art of empathic relationships with others, which I feel is a more balanced way of demonstrating our emotions. Emotions can run away with you, if you are not careful, I remember how I used to be. Always turning the tap on, as Mother used to say. The path I have travelled on has taught me to balance it out, decipher the causes, outcomes etc. Responding to Bozenna, you obviously cannot relay here completely what you are experiencing, but deciphering as far as I can, I need to say, do take care on what you are involving yourself with. Love to everyone.
I was assured in a very loving way that this is temporary. It’s unpleasant and troublesome but I’m only serving Spirit. Ignoring the obvious doesn’t solve the problem. I’m going to ask the question again, where is the negative energy stored? Maybe if we give it some attention we would be able to help it, to overpower it with Love. That exactly what I did in the trans.
that a very important issue in daily living!!! Don’t let my life be controlled by feelings or emotions!
I’ve noticed that if I pay attention to present feelings, instead of paying attention to thoughts, I connect with my inner self more easily. I’m very emotional person and it’s been a struggle for years. Since I’m more aware, feelings started to help me.
Dear Dorota, I fully relate. I’m also a very emotional person, and this life experience has not been easy to accept and live with in a hard world that has not understood emotion and spiritual reality. It’s only been in the past few years that I’ve learned to accept my emotional self as strength, not a weakness, and love and respect this strength. I need to control my mind’s thoughts by shaping it with the sacred words of all the world’s religions (rid self of all old world shaping), meditation, exercise, and, by processing my emotions through writing – all in the path of understanding self.
On Sunday or Monday morning my Guide said to me “Start polemic Worlds”. The “start” was said in English, the “polemic Worlds” was said in polish.
When polemic word was borrowed into English from French polemique in the mid-17th century, it referred (as it still can) to a type of hostile attack on someone’s ideas. The word traces back to Greek polemikos, which means “warlike”. In polish language polemic simply means discussion.
I dismissed the request. Who am I to began this controversial discussion? But no, it’s apparent that this is what they want me to do.
All spiritual teachers are talking only about Love, Light and positive emotion/energy/Spirit. I just need to ask this question:
Where is stored the negative energy/emotion/thought and Spirit?
A month ago or so I was attacked by an angry Spirit in a deep trans. He not only was pushing hard my chest, he was suffocating me. I saw the Spirit, I felt the push and I was suffocating. It was as real as all the loving Spirits encounters.
Please help me with this dilemma.
Isn’t it our own decision which kind of spirits we invite? Or where we want to be connected? Bozenna – trust your gut and close the door!
My inner response to your dilemma is to love even the frightened areas in you that show up uninvited. Fear manifests this way sometimes when it is deep seated and has been there a long time. I think, as a race, our biggesy challenge, biggest need and highest priority is to embrace, and LOVE the scary, seemingly enemy-like fear within. Hold it in love, find the innocence at its core. This alone will bring wholeness, and peace.